Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Thoughts on a long plane flight

Probably not what you're expecting from me upon my return, but it will take a little while to formulate my thoughts upon four magnificent months in the City of God, so let me try to reflect on at least the last three hours of my 12 1/2 hour flight.

I actually really enjoyed Memoirs of a Geisha. I found it to be a very well done movie and I didn't mind one that could be labeled as a chick flick.
Coincidentially, while the girl formerly known as Chiyo was "practicing her calligraphy" on an expensive kimono, I was practicing my Hebrew "calligraphy" (more accurately "scribal arts") . I learned the final letter I needed to learn, Aleph (א), (actually this is the first letter of the alphabet but often the last scribally learned because it is arguable the most complex. It is also kind of hard to write a Torah scroll without it (it is the only letter that is in each of the four words of the Torah, or so my independent research (read: boredom) has concluded) and even Megilat Esther, the project that I want to begin and complete by Purim 5767 would be a little flat without the king and queen having writable names.

Now I'm watching Yatzpan on the plane. I actually have not watched it when I was in Israel. For some reason in this episode that is obviously not of this year, "Former Prime Minister Ariel Sharon (then-current, probably)" (Refuah Shleyma to the real one!), "MK Shimon Peres" and "President Moshe Katsav" and other famous Israelis were jamming with "The Ayatollah", "Shiek Yassin", "Saddam Hussein", and "Yasser Arafat". I also believe that "Ehud Barak" was there too. A whole bunch of people... Perhaps there was also a weird(er)-looking "George W. Bush" (they go for funny, not necessarilly looks, but sometimes it looks realer than SNL). I'm actually not sure about anything but somehow, even without titles appearing, I believe I am able to correctly identify the leaders being parodied. On SNL, on the other hand, they often have to identify the parodied characters by name. I actually wasn't paying so much attention to what the characters were saying. The delivery and the voices, however, were hilarious unto themselves.

We've just entered Canadian Airspace. 1 1/2 hours to go, we are above Halifax, Nova Scotia. Maybe I can parachute into Kings College and annex it for Philo, and perhaps take a dip in this hot tub I've been hearing about.

Why is King Kong fighting dinorsaurs and why is Jack Black so freakin' awesome? Could a King Kong/Jurassic Park crossover be in the works? He totally just destroyed that T-Rex (or should I say T-Wrecked after Der Konig Kong is done with him; Is this what I'm like without sleep?)! Oh look, there's Aragog and Shelob (from Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings, respectively) (can you say "Lawsuit"? I'm sure you can unless you lack the means of speech, in which case I apologize for offending you).

As I was just doing thew small change tzedeka thing they have on El Al, I noticed the triangle on the 20₪ and 100₪ bills. I finally realized that they exist on both sides and when held up to a light form a Star of David. Trés cool!

We're now flying over Bangor, ME. Heh heh... Maine... I love the way how they transliterate English into Hebrew.

At Universal Studios, King Kong spells like burnt marshmallows . Oh man, he's totally giving Ann Darrow (any relation to Clarence Darrow, who had a major role in the Scope's Monkey Trial? (ED: when I originally wrote this on paper on the plane I called him Charles Darrow, who actually is the inventor of Monopoly, around the same time, but a couple of miles away)) that "e tu Brute" look. He's about to go apesh*t (possibly subconsious, but it was not an intentional pun initially). Ah the Eighth Wonder of the World.

The flight attendant just called herself a stewardess!!! Whoa! That just sent Women's Lib back about 75 years. What's next, a food attendant callig herself a waitress or a God attendant calling herself a Jewess? That's backwards, man... sorry, person (also not intentional) (man this is as bad as when I unintenionally called something Ariel Sharon did a stroke of genius).

Double-decker planes are cool. I was on the first story. Why does the plane smell so [UNREADABLE] on the plane? Yup, back over New York.

There is a school... TOUCHDOWN!... from Chicago that is on our plane. Interesting experience, as it always is when dealing with eighth graders). One of the recent outbursts? "Poughkeepsie? I love Poughkeepsie, as much as I like traffic and stairs... (pause)... I like stairs".

"We never forget that you have a choice in airline" ...ok...

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